April Newsletter
Stress & Transitions
For many of us, this spring is a time of transitions, including the upcoming graduation for seniors. Others are taking on more working hours as the summer approaches, going through breakups, or changing apartments or roommates. These can be unsettling times between periods of relative stability, so it’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed, out of control, and stressed. Symptoms of stress include irritability, fatigue, loss of appetite and insomnia. Although eliminating stress entirely during transitions is unrealistic, we do have some control over the stress that we feel.
What we think directly informs how we feel, which includes feeling stressed. By identifying and changing the way we think about our recent breakup or upcoming graduation, we have the power to actually reduce our stress levels.
Particularly during stressful life transitions, we might engage in negative self-talk. Self-talk, or our inner dialogue, can either be positive such as, “I’m doing the best I can and I’ll get through this situation,” or negative, “I can’t do it, this is too much and I’ll never get through this.” Negative self-talk happens when we magnify only the negative aspects of a situation, blame ourselves, anticipate the worst, and think that if something isn’t perfect, it’s a complete failure. If we magnify the negative aspects of whatever transition we are going through, we also magnify our stress.
Think back to the month before you started college. You might have caught yourself thinking, “I’ll never make friends.” If you said that to yourself, do you remember how stressed you felt when anticipating moving into your first residence hall or starting class with new classmates and professors? During that same month before college, did you ever find yourself thinking, perhaps after spending time with a friend, “I have close friends now and have always made friends in the past so even if it might feel awkward at first, in time I will be okay.” Do you remember how, even if just for that passing moment, you felt less stressed about meeting new people at school?
We have control over our stress even if we don’t have control over a situation. A senior graduating this year does not have control over the fact that he or she will soon be leaving Saint Peter’s and transitioning to a new work or educational environment. But by becoming aware of negative self-talk and working to replace it with more productive thoughts such as, “This feels both scary and exciting”, “I don’t need to have my whole life figured out right now”, and “People change careers many times throughout their lives anyway”, the senior will most likely feel less stressed and more empowered.
Reducing stress during transitions is not about simply looking on the bright side of every situation or ignoring negative feelings. Transitions are difficult for everyone and can bring up many feelings, both negative and positive. The key is to recognize when we’re engaging in negative self-talk and note our body’s cues that let us know when we’re feeling stressed (e.g. sweaty palms, heart pounding, feeling restless). Once we’re aware of our cues, we can re-frame our understanding of situations in a more productive way that encourages less stress.
For more guidance on handling stress and transitions, come visit our office, check out our literature on stress management or make an appointment with one of our counselors.
References: Mayo Clinic Staff. (2014, March 4). Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress. Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/ stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950
The Center for Personal Development is open weekdays from 9am to 5pm. We offer free and confidential counseling to the Saint Peter’s Community. To schedule an appointment, call (201) 761-6420 or stop by our office.